K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
