So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
