He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize