11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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