She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
