i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you inspire me to be a worse person
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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