ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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