If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
