there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
