I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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