i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
