am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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