OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
