Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
