Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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