i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
