But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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