i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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