Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
