good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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