did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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