oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
