; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
