Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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