I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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