everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
