I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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