If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
