She announced her abortion via fbk
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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