pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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