you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
