we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
