from now on my penis is your penis
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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