Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
