what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone