What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.