We're facebook friends in real life
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
