Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
