She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
