I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
