Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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