dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
