I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
