you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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