YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
