I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
