I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
