Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
