glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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