I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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