Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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