So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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