forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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