im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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