She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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