i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
