so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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